Coach Caite's Blog

How to Love Networking

2010-08-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

I used to hate networking. I felt shy. I didn’t want to introduce myself to strangers. I didn’t know what to say. Now I love it. Just give me a room full of new people! One day looking for help on the subject, I ran across Susan Rowan’s “How to Work a Room.” She’s sold a million copies of that and for good reason. Susan showed me how networking is really about being interested in, caring about and being of service to others. I had been thinking it was supposed to be about how I got others interested in me! Ever since then, I have been enjoying myself more and more at networking events. Can you think of network opportunities as a gift? Imagine that every person there could be a friend instead of a “mark.”?

Here are a few do’s and don’ts for networking to add to your collection:

DO be genuine and authentic. Be yourself.
DON’T put on an act and try to behave like someone you’re not.

DO become curious and interested in the person you are talking to. Ask open ended questions, versus yes or no, to give them a chance to open up and tell you about themselves.

DON’T bombard them with questions. Too many questions can be a turnoff and make you sound aggressive and like you are just a taker (information, energy, their time) Be sensitive to how the person is reacting to your questioning.

DO find people you would like to meet. Use your intuition. You can ask yourself “who in this room would love to meet ME?”
DON’T feel you have to tackle people who don’t appeal to you. Later, after you warm up, you might change your mind about them!

DO have your “who I am and what I do” speech very clear in your head before going to the event. And then feel free too make it spontaneous if the spirit moves!
DON’T give a canned-sounding 30 second commercial for yourself when you meet someone. People can tell when you aren’t really connecting with them and are just concerned with promoting yourself.

DO have business cards ready so you don’t have to fumble around for them, but don’t
offer unless there seems to be some genuine mutual interest there. If the person seems to be a good connection for you and you like them, ask for theirs first.
DON’T come at a person head-on and immediately hand them your card.

DO put notes on the back of cards as soon as possible after you get them as to the date, the event where you met this person, and any notes about your conversation. Think you’ll remember? Chances are you won’t!
DON’T file away the card in some drawer for “later.” Follow up with each contact that seemed worthwhile with a friendly email, preferably mentioning some way you might do business with them or be useful to them in the future.

DO spend enough time getting to know a quality contact without thinking you have to keep it short so you can meet more people.
DON’T go for quantity rather than quality.

DO become a great listener. You can’t fake it! Learn to ask “What do you do?” with
ease, sincerity and genuine interest.
DON’T interrupt the person with frequent references to yourself, like “Oh yes, that happened to me” or “ I used to do that too” etc.

DO Practice talking to people everywhere you go. Be self confident and if you aren’t, work at it-- maybe take a workshop or join a Toastmasters public speaking club.
DON’T be apologetic or self deprecating.

DO enjoy yourself!!
DON’T stay home cause its easier!

DO offer to introduce a new contact to others you may know in the room. An introduction spoken with respect is well remembered.

2010-08-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

I would like you to know about TED Talks. TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with two annual conferences -- the TED Conference in Long Beach and Palm Springs each spring, and the TEDGlobal conference in Oxford UK each summer -- TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Project and Open TV Project, the inspiring TEDx program and the annual TED Prize.

The annual conferences in Long Beach/Palm Springs and Oxford bring together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes. Check it out! www.ted.com

How to interpret your dreams

2010-07-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

Ever see a green goose? In your dream, anything can happen. What do your dreams mean? We spend about a third of our life sleeping. Each night, experts tell us, we have many dreams. Even if you don’t remember yours or swear that you don’t dream, you probably do as they are a natural part of the four stage sleep cycle. What do they mean? You can learn to interpret your own dreams-- and that is a good idea if you are interested at all in dream phenomenon, because the truth is you should not allow anyone else to interpret your dream for you. Why? Because you are unique and your history is unique and what an umbrella meant to Freud is not necessarily what an umbrella in your dream signifies for you. Also, a particular item may have different meaning for you in a different dream context; it is not always the same necessarily

The “code” to your dreams does not come in any book; it comes in your skillful and intuitive interpretation of those messages, and that takes experimentation and practice . Gayle Delaney, founder of the Association for the Study of Dreams, says that dreams do not come to you with information you already know Dreams are messengers from our subconscious, from our superconscious minds, and, many belief, occasionally from spiritual beings or those who have passed on who want to tell us something. Not all dreams are of equal significance. There are just wish dreams, processing dreams, anxiety dreams that tend to recur, and Big Dreams that come in living color with such powerful imagery that you never forget them You may have heard of “lucid dreaming.” That’s when you actually wake up within your dream and continue dreaming with your conscious direction. It is possible to study one dream for many years, or even a lifetime. However, most of us do not have the patience! We would like to know right away what our dreams have to tell us.

The first thing you need to do in working with your dreams is make sure you remember at least one per night, and keep a dream journal by the side of your bed, with a pen or pencil handy. Here are some tips for analyzing your dreams:

1) Notice the atmosphere of your dream – what is the primary mood or feeling? What is the light like – is it day or night? What could this aspect be trying to tell you?

2) Who are the characters in your dream and what are the significant objects? Do some free association writing on the main characters or objects and see what comes up. Do not censor your impressions or thoughts; for instance, saying to yourself “ oh that can’t be right, it doesn’t make sense!” Dreams are not logical. They don’t have to follow “the rules.”

3) Next, become an element in your dream and write from that character or object’s point of view.

4) Once you have followed these procedures for a few elements in the dream, some
pattern or meaning is likely to appear. Take it from there and see what interpretation occurs to you. If you don’t get a big “aha!!” keep on going. Try working with other parts of the dream until something starts to make sense.

There are many writers and experts on the world of dreaming. Go to the library or a bookstore and see what titles appeal to you. Follow your intuition, which is the sister of dreaming. I’ve studied a number of dream interpretation processes, but the one resource I’d recommend to start with is the author I mentioned above, Gayle Delaney’s “Living Your Dreams.” See her website, www.gdelaney.com.

Appreciate and take care of your feet

2010-07-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

How often are you aware of your feet? Not much, you’re probably thinking. Our
feet are amazing. Did you know that there are areas of your feet that relate to every part of you body? There is a healing massage that works just with the feet, called “reflexology.” Google that and see what you get! A foot massage is a great gift to give yourself, but it is so much nicer to get one from a professional masseuse….or from your lover! Foot massage is wonderfully relaxing and rejuvenating.

Another exercise that is very good for your feet and your body is rolling your feet over a ball, or cylinder, or rolling your bare feet gently over a golf ball, stopping to press gently into the tender places until they release a bit (don’t overdo it!). Sit down and gently separate your toes with your fingers, tenderly pull each toe out from its base until you feel the tiniest of releases. Now stand up and see how they feel. Your feet will thank you for waking them up!

Our feet are out contact with the earth – and that works, if you create an intention for it, even through concrete sidewalks. When was the last time you went barefoot in the
grass, or really enjoyed walking barefoot on the beach?

We women create all kinds of problems for our feet with the shoes we wear. Back in the 70’s it seems like, with the advent of pants suits and women’s lib in the office, high heels might go away. No such chance! They are just too sexy and too much fun. They feel great to wear even though they often can throw your back out of alignment and make it pretty difficult to get around easily! Women’s shoe heels have gotten even higher these days!

There are all kinds of unpleasant things that can happen to your feet from wearing the wrong kinds of shoes.. Bunions can occur from wearing those pointy toed creations of a few years ago. Fortunately, those aren’t as common these days, and the round toes and open toes are a bit better. Hammertoes are sometimes the result of wearing shoes that are too short or too narrow. And how about plantar fasciitis?. No fun! That’s when the tissue at the bottoms of your heels get inflamed and it can be so painful you can’t even walk. If you are getting pain in your heels, nip it in the bud before it gets worse! See a doctor to diagnose the condition. He will probably recommend as part of your cure and as prevention that you stretch those Achilles tendons really well on a daily basis and wear supports in your shoes. You can get plantar fasciitis from walking barefoot with poorly developed feet, running, jumping, wearing shoes with inadequate support while walking on concrete and other hard surfaces. It’s not a condition to ignore!

According to www.podiatrychannel.com/anatomy, this is how our feet are made:

“ • 26 bones (One-quarter of the bones in the human body are in the feet.);
• 33 joints;
• more than 100 muscles, tendons (fibrous tissues that connect muscles to bones), and ligaments (fibrous tissues that connect bones to other bones); and
• a network of blood vessels, nerves, skin, and soft tissue”

What a wonderful thing it is to stand, to connect with the earth and feel her supportive energy rise through our bodies! Early peoples did not wear shoes. Just how much have we lost by covering up these marvels and keeping them from direct contact with our planet? Who knows how much of our stress comes just from wearing shoes!

Socrates: " Beware the barrenness of a busy life"

2010-06-28T14:35:00.000-07:00

From 500 BC come words of such wisdom for today. Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, is suggesting something very important for us. Why would a busy life be barren? Because we don't stop to smell the roses, we are rarely present for ouselves or for each other -- fully. "What doth it profit a man if he gain the world and lose his own soul." Same kind of thing. It is so hard to stop, to slow down, but the price of not doing that -- or of not finding a peaceful way to be busy! -- is very high.

How to reduce stress at work!

2010-06-16T12:24:00.001-07:00

Over the years I have collected many methods of reducing and managing stress as I have worked on that for myself in so many different contexts. Studies by the American Medical Association have also shown the negative effects of stress on health. They say stress is a factor in more than 75 percent of all illness and disease today. Stress is a complex subject and the roots of stress in your life must be dealt with by long term life and habit changes. However,there are lots of things you can do to manage stress during your day and at work. The first question is: are you willing to make the commitment to try? Most often stress kind of just runs over us and we give in to it. It takes willpower to intervene: to stop and say No, and do a technique to stop yourself before you need the cigarette, chocolate bar, drink, or just fly off the handle and get angry at someone.

At work, what do you feel are the main daily causes of stress?
Too much to do too little time? Unrealistic deadlines? Procrastination?
Long meetings? Difficult people,irate customers, bosses? Constant interruptions?
Yes, there is all of that in your day to day work. Then there is what you are carrying about your life, your relationship, your health, your finances, your fears for the future. What's great to remember is just this: we always have a choice.

Long Term help for stress includes: exercise, diet, nutrition, cognitive therapies, relaxation, yoga, coming of addictions, better sleep, time management, prioritizing,
stuck thought patterns. But what underlies our sense of stress is very often the fundamental fact that we have not clarified or are not living by our most important values and finding ways to work at what is most fulfilling for us. Many people have not taken the time to question themselves on what those really are: this causes an unconscious, ever present kind of stress.

Are you ignoring your spiritual self? compromising your integrity? Are you following your heart? Ignoring your dreams? Those are big questions, but here are a few short term interventions for managing daily stress.

1) When you feel overloaded, too much to do, can’t think straight, take a walk around and just listen to sounds. How many different ones can you hear? This will calm you and take your mind out of its churning, stressful thoughts. As a young actress, I did a tour with the matinee idol Don Ameche (remember him in the movie about Alexander Graham Bell?). He was a wonderful guy, but he had an Italian temper. We never saw it! When he felt himself getting angry in rehearsal, he would excuse himself and take a walk. Precisely two minutes. When he returned he was courteous and pleasant, anger gone.

2.Doing some deep breathing helps. First of all, just put your attention on your breath; then take three deep inhales and exhales, slowly and full. You can also count four breathing in deeply; hold it for four counts, and breathe out on a count of 8.

3. Get up and stretch. Our bodies get all knarlled up when we sit, no wonder we can't think straight!

4. Donna Eden has a wonderful book for women, "Energy Medicine." Here is one of her tips for adrenal fatique, which has been called the stress syndrome of the 21st century. Walnut size glands on top of kidneys…produce 150 hormones that influence every major psychological process in you body including adrenaline and cortisol. To stop flight or fight syndrome, put your fingers on forehead and thumbs on your temples..hold firmly but without pressure for a minute or two;or place palm of one hand on your forehead and palm of the other hand on the back of your head, just above your neck.

5. The biggie: Be here now. Just pay attention to what is right around you, what your body feels like; use all your senses to be fully present. While you do that, you cannot at the same time be allowing your thoughts to run up your tension. The more you can switch into that kind of mindful presence, the better your day is going to be.

6. Generation Y is teaching us about new ways to work. They don't want to be so serious all the time. So sometimes, how about being playful, wacky, humorous, creative? Remember the old movie Zorba the Greek and "the whole catastrophe" He danced!!

7. Do a "random Act of kindness" for someone...you have surely heard about that.
Just do some little thing for somebody, anybody. The deal is you have to do it secretly without letting them know it was you! Taking the attention off yourself and your problems is truly a gift to you, and you might make somebody else's day too!

You can't do it at the office, but note the photo of the lady by the river above: being by water, observing water, listening to water sounds -- ahhh! what a help that is!

For How to Manage Stress at Work sessions, or Life Coaching to discover your values and purpose, contact me. I offer a free discovery session! Caite Mathis,
at caitemaya@yahoo.com.

Peace is always with us

2010-06-07T20:19:00.001-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I heard the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on KUNR radio. I met in the early 80's when he first came to this country, and loved him because he said when you meditate you can have a slight smile -- and there I was sitting with a bunch of very serious looking Buddhists who didn't quite like that at the time! He always called any children in the audience to come down front and sit next to him. Now he is 75. He is a Vietnamese monk who has written several books on "being peace" and hugely influenced the Buddhist community, as well as offering the gift of inner peace to many who otherwise would not have tried anything Buddhist. He was one of the key people in the Buddhist resistance in the Vietnam War before, they kicked him out of his country. He has a monastery in Vermont, Maple Forest; and a community in France called Plum Village. He spoke yesterday of "deep listening", and how valuable it is to listen deeply to another, without judgment. Such listening can create an opening. He said we need to find peace in ourselves first before we can find it with another. "If you fail with yourself, how can you succeed with another person?" Good question! He went through hellish experiences during the Vietnamese War, yet he says "peace is always with us to some extent." That's true. In meditation it is always there, waiting; even if you can't necessarily stay with that awareness.

Creativity and Feminine Power

2010-06-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

“You have a song in your heart to be sung and you have a dance to be danced, but the dance is invisible, and the song—even you have not heard it yet. It is deep down hidden in the innermost core of your being; it has to be brought to the surface, it has to be expressed…There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you.” --Osho, “Creativity: Unleasing the Forces Within"

Osho was perhaps a questionable guru for a lot of reasons, but I like his book on creativity. This quote is particularly pertinent to a phenomenal happening on the internet: free teleclasses with www.femininepower.com. Check it out. (That photo is of a mural in downtown Reno)

The Feminine Power site was created by Claire Zammit and Kathryn Woodward-Thomas, who are offering a remarkable 7 week course called The Three Keys to Feminine Power and it has everything to do with creativity in women and the full power potential women have, which has been snuffed and surpressed in varying degrees for about 5,000 years. No, we're still not all the way out of that. They tell how so many women today feel an inarticulate restlessness to do something big but at the same time have old feelings of being not enough: limiting self concepts such as "I am alone, I am unconnected, I don't matter." They have discovered a method for freeing us from these limiting beliefs and helping women become who they most truly are. The first free call introducing their ideas had 10,000 women on it. They were supposed to have another free call today, but had to postpone it because 19,000 women had signed up! They are working with the teleseminar technology to allow this many callers on the line and have rescheduled for Wednesday the 9th. You can still sign up!

"These are the days of miracles and wonders..."

2010-05-13T21:31:00.001-07:00

Remember the old Simon and Garfunkel song? These ARE the days of "miracles and wonders," are they not? This biblical looking photo is one I took of an early evening sky in Montana last summer. Today, we are witnessing momentous happenings, from tornadoes and earthquakes to Greece's financial mess -- but at the same time, positive wonders. In my own life, there are synchronicities and spiritually startling moments. I wonder if you are experiencing something similar?

Some examples: I signed up for a class called "Integral Englightenment" (www.integralenlightenment.com) inspired by the recent theory of Integral Spirituality (Ken Wilbur). The course is about how we get over ourselves (our ego self) and come into clearer alignment with what the teacher, Craig Hamilton, calls the "evolutionary impulse." It's an inspiring concept -- and 700 people from 25 countries around the world agree with me, because that is how many signed up. And this telecourse is not free! From the class forum, I now have a shaman friend in Iceland (he liked the "transformational energy" of the volcano), a life coach from Germany, a yoga teacher from Guam, an advertising copywriter from Puerto Rico, many from Canada. But here's the amazing one: this class is on Maestro Conference, which has the first part as a lecture; then the large group is split into breakout groups of two or three, so you can have a small group discussion or do an exercise assigned by the course teacher. You have no control of who you get in your group; it is random. So 700 people, twenty five countries, right? In my breakout group this week there were three of us -- and one of them lives in the small town of Healdsburg where I lived in the 90's and again just a few months ago!

Here's another moment out of the usual: I am meeting for the first time with a counselor in a conservative, government run public agency. After listening to my dilemma, she pulls out a bag of Runes for me to pick one (Runes are an ancient Celtic form of divination). She reads me the writeup from the book of Runes for the Rune I picked, and it is dead-on perfect for my situation. Huh!? I totally dig it; but how is this happening in a Government sponsored therapy clinic?

I am walking toward the heart of downtown Reno by the river which runs through it. As I get near the bridge, a young man dashes from the road down to the river and jumps in, followed by several people. A woman leaps in after him with all her clothes on (freezing cold) and pulls him out, with the help of a couple of guys. I don't know if they know the young man. He was trying to drown himself. I see his face so clearly as they lift him up, so very pale, so sad -- like a Picasso Blue period -- only this is real life. I send him many prayers and blessings and I think how terrible for him to be in such despair as to give up his life at such a young age, and how grateful I am to those who saved him. And why was I there at just this very quick moment?

People are speaking of the Apocolypse, 2012, the Kali Yuga (Hindu Dark Age) all of that -- maybe. But I feel and see evidence that there is also something powerfully good connecting us and lifting us up. Please see Paul Hawken's short video from the TED talks....www.blessedunrest.com. From the site: "Paul Hawken has spent over a decade researching organizations dedicated to restoring the environment and fostering social justice. From billion-dollar nonprofits to single-person causes, these groups collectively comprise the largest movement on earth, a movement that has no name, leader, or location... Like nature itself, it is organizing from the bottom up, in every city, town, and culture. and is emerging to be an extraordinary and creative expression of people's needs worldwide."

The only thing we have to fear...

2010-04-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I find that when my clients are most confused about their direction in life and think they can’t figure out what they should do next, the biggest problem is fear. Aren’t we all at least a little bit afraid right now? So many changes going on in the world, in our lives. Time feels like it is speeding up. ” Yikes, how will I be able to make it? How can I do what I really want to do and still make a living? WHAT do I really want to do anyway?”

If you resonate with any of this, what are you doing to help yourself? Lots of people will have answers for you — but are they YOUR answers? What do you think the real problem is? Remember President Roosevelt during World War II, which was a pretty scary time for a few years, even though most of you weren’t born yet. He said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” How true is that! What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Do you even recognize in what way you are afraid? There is guidance for all of us. Why are we afraid to listen? You could say “spiritual guidance” — or not. I don’t like particularly the word “spiritual” because it can associate to vagueness, ungroundedness, or is just a catch-all like the “spiritual but not religious” category on the dating sites. What does that mean to you, really? Maybe there is no right word– but there is a force and a connection in you that will lead you home, to a solid “yes, that’s it!” For me, it is best accessed by first sitting in silence and following my breath, not my thoughts. Just to give a little break in the endless thoughtstream so I’m more open. Then I may ask a question.

I doubt anyone has the total answer for anyone else today. We all must find out how to get to guidance and truth ourselves, whether it is asking Jesus, talking to the Goddess, being in Nature, journaling, sitting in silence, or being with a supportive friend who does NOT give us advice. It is wonderful if we can support each other to find our own answers. What works for you?
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Edible Reno-Tahoe new magazine

2010-04-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

In spite of all the bad news in the world, so many people are dedicated to doing really good work. One wonderful effort right here in Reno is the new free magazine
"Edible Reno-Tahoe." You can pick it up at Whole Foods. It is published by Amanda Burden, who used to be the editor of Reno Magazine. This "Edible" is part of a whole community of "Edibles", a family of 62 magazines throughout the United States and Canada, promoting the local food movement. This is a significant effort to support our region by building and supporting a vibrant, local healthy food scene. Beyond its usefulness, however, this magazine just feels good to handle! The graphics, printing and paper used all have a positive vibe. I sat down and read most of it so easily....even the ads look nice! On the spot, it led to my renewing my commitment to buying organic vegetables and meats. If you can't find it at Whole Foods because they are out of copies, call 775-746-3299 to see where else it is distributed.

Abundance in "interesting" times

2010-04-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

There is a Chinese curse, I believe: "May you live in interesting times!" We do indeed live in interesting times. I had an opportunity to study what is interesting about being short of money last week. A check had not arrived and, as I don't use credit cards anymore, I had to figure out how to get through the week without my usual cushions -- like Starbucks lattes and convenience meals while I'm out. I decided to give McDonald's a try, as it is near me and seniors can have coffee for under a dollar. I take Decaf, and they will even make a fresh pot. It was delicious. The young counter people were sweet. I sat at a table and did my writing, as I would at Starbucks; and I have to say it was actually more peaceful than the big S.

I love to do my writing and studying at a cafe, but I am a bit of a snob, so I thought once a week at McD was enough, even though it had worked for me (What I really enjoy is tea at the Ritz in San Francisco!). For my next study session, I went to Whole Foods and ordered just a plain coffee, which was wonderful. There were so many free samples around the store that I was well fed as well, with garlic bread, sample cheesecake and Tahoe Creamery icecream. I love Whole Foods; it is a great place to be and impresses me always with a true sense of abundance. Being around all that, I found I didn't even feel deprived not being able to stock up a cart with all their goodies.

If you are at all like me, much of our sense of lack comes from our stuck mindset.
The week went by, I was fine, I had plenty to eat -- I just made different choices.
Some of those choices are going to be new, more economical additions to my daily routines--not with a sense of deprivation, but rather a new freedom.

By the way, I even got treated by the barista at the Whole Foods coffee bar to a sample of their Dark Chocolate Mocha Blend with soy and decaf....oh MY GOODNESS! The best ever!

Indigenous Grandmothers' Council

2010-04-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

This photo I took of the modern shaman Aumrak at a Mayan fire ceremony in Tikal, Guatemala a few years ago at a big festival there. All over the world, there are common links in the indigenous teachings, so inspiring for us to consider today. I just saw the recent documentary about the 13 indigenous grandmothers who came together through a prophecy from all over the world to help heal humanity and the planet. It is a marvelous movie, please see the trailer. www.forthenext7generations.com. Several of the grandmothers had knowledge through dreams of visions that this Council would happen. One of them was told my her mother when she was very small that she would be part of this! Each grandmother is very active now doing projects and they all meet and visit each other's countnries. Particularly moving was their meeting with the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala. He was so delighted with them and said their work was very important.

The teachings of the Native Americans I have always felt are key to the preservation of our planet and our own survival, with their emphasis on connecting with Nature, taking care of the environment and our own spiritual health in relation to our "Mother Earth."

There are many Native American people in the Reno area who are willing to include and teach ceremonial ways to non-native peoples. I am grateful.

My Classes at "The Studio"

2010-04-06T23:32:00.000-07:00

I am teaching classes in Reno in a lovely space called The Studio. It is near Vassar on Virginia, right above The Spy Shop. I teach "Yoga/Movement/Stretch" on Tuesdays at 5:30 pm. This is especially for people who won't take a regular yoga class, either because it doesn't appeal to them or they don't think they can do it. I've studied different styles of yoga for many years, but ultimately, as I have an extensive dance and theater background, I prefer to mix some of the less difficult poses (asanas) with gentle movement and meridian stretches. It feels good, you get a soothing, inspiring, flowing workout, and you don't have to be all that fit! I'm a senior, so feel free to join me at any age!

The Studio offers all kinds of yoga, including Hot Yoga and Kundalini. Check out the full schedule at www.thestudioreno.com. They offer massage as well. Aside from the yoga classes, there are other unusual offerings in addition to my classes, like Zumba, Tai Chi Sword, plus spiritual and creative seminars. I also teach a creative movement class for women called "Dancing the Goddesses Within" on Thursdays at 6:45.

The Studio is a beautiful, relaxing space, with two big studios and comfortable massage rooms -- not at all a gym atmosphere. There's an emphasis on creating community there, so you'll find fliers for all sorts of activities, alternative magazines, free tea, and a place where you can sit down and work on a big puzzle, if you're so inclined.

The Studio
1085 S. Virginia St (above the Spy Shop)
(775) 284-5545

Why Hire a Life Coach?

2010-04-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

You've probably heard about life coaching. Being a business coach makes sense to most people -- but life coaching? Business coaches focus on your business challenges and goals. A life coach supports you to look at your life as a whole, to consider more deeply where you are at, what you would really like to do and be, your values, what stops you. Coaches are action oriented, however, not therapists. They facilitate you making the great choices you might not make if left to your own devices (or wouldn't you have made them already?) And there's the question of success vs. fulfillment I talked about in a previous blog: as a coach I will root for your fulfillment, which might also be your greatest success, but might not look like it to you from your current vantage point. Is it possible for you to be totally fulfilled and on purpose if you don't deal with your life as a whole, balancing the different aspects and not letting one area torpedo the rest? A disturbing relationship can keep you from clear focus on your career. Lack of inner clarity in any area of your life can cause stress and block success in all areas of your life, including your health and your relationships.

So why would you need to hire a coach to help you figure out all those "personal" questions? Well, what if you had somebody who would really listen to you without judgment, holding a space for you to process your thoughts and feelings about your life questions and your career? Asking the right questions. Do you have a friend or relative who does that for you? Most people don't, because an untrained person or someone involved with you personally is likely to give you advice, and give you their opinion of what you should do. Sure; sometimes that is helpful, but it is not always safe to tell your nearest and dearest what's budding in your heart. That can be scary. A coach can hold a space for you to do that, and because a session with a good coach should be a safe place to listen to yourself and speak from your heart, you can start to find the answers that will be "right on" for you. In my coaching, I listen to you with what Carlos Casteneda called "the second attention" -- beyond the words you use, to the deeper level of what you are communicating. I can highlight for you confusions or stuck places, and then we can work together on bringing illumination to all that.

After a session with a good coach, you should walk away with more confidence and clearer direction. Not all coaches are great -- but a couple I've had myself are worth their weight in gold! Even though I am not coaching with them now, the experience of their support and helpful guidance continues to work for me to this day.

ABWA Convention, and conversation

2010-04-03T14:55:00.001-07:00

The American Business Women's Convention is coming to my town, Reno, April 9 and 10 at the Grand Sierra Hotel and Casino. It's about leadership. Great place to network and learn! I am enjoying the ABWA Express networking lunch on the 4th Wednesdays at the Atlantis. Lunch is good, it's a great group of women, managably around the same U shape table. I actually love networking, and meeting with many different kinds of groups, especially as I am new in town.

I'm finding now that I "network" everywhere! It has become easy to talk to people I don't know, and be the first to break the ice. That did not used to be me! This week, I took the test for Census work, and there were guys on either side of me, keeping to themselves. After the test, while we were waiting, I started a conversation with the guy on my right who had seemed pretty nervous, and he was glad to talk. Turned out this was the second time he took the test (you can repeat), and he had done much better. Then I talked to the other, older guy on my left, who was former military and quite a bit more closed. He loosened up a bit too, and I thought it was very interesting to meet and talk with somebody with such a different background from me. He finished that test fast! There's usually something you can find to say to someone you don't know in a situation like that. It made me feel more relaxed, and I could see them relax as well. The trick is, I guess, in striking up conversation with strangers, to be friendly but not intrusive or aggressive. Hmmmm... and if its a guy striking up a conversation with a woman, well that might be a little trickier, depending on what I sense is his intention! Comments, anyone?

Gratitude without pressure

2010-04-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about gratitute a lot, and there is so much talk about that in spiritual circles these days. I actually am immensely grateful for so much in my life, but when I get grumpy and am feeling lack instead of abundance, the idea that I "should" be grateful and that I am being "bad" because I feel grumpy, is not so helpful. Today, I found out that actually just sitting down I can contact gratitude by just sort of falling into it....it is there, part of our natural ground. This goes with the idea of basic goodness. That's a concept to which I was introduced through my Tibetan Shambhala practice, which I love because it is so positive -- it is about being in the world in a positive way. Anyhow, it is a relief to know I don't have to work up a whole bunch of energy when I don't have it in order to feel grateful ON TOP of feeling grumpy. Just relax, and bingo: Gratitude! It feels very good. A gratitude massage as an antidote to stress?

I came here that way!

2010-03-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

My husband, Ken Mathis, had six children, all grown up when I met him. He used to tell me how different they all were as children. With one in particular, he and his first wife wondered if the baby had been switched in the nursery! He used to tell me about how their personalities and differences appeared so early: "They came here that way," he said. It seems to be very true. We come here with ways of being that aren't necessarily traceable to our family or our conditioning. Those unique ways of being are both a gift, and often a puzzle -- when we don't fit in. I think many of us are born for the times we are growing up into, where we have a special part to play in the way our society and our world are changing. If you are young and you don't "fit," it may be you are to be part of an effort or a profession that isn't even invented yet! Maybe YOU are going to invent it! Is this part of the confusion young people so often feel today about what they really want to do? If you are here on the planet now, I bet there is something special you have to contribute, but it is not very likely somebody else is going to be able to tell you exactly what that is. I like the way Generation Y is changing the workplace and asking questions older people cannot answer for them. And refusing to be workaholics, making life balance a priority. Check out this book: "Keeping the Millennials: Why Companies are Losing Billions in Turnover to This Generation-- and What to do About it." by Dr. J.G. Sujansky and Dr. Jan Ferri-Reed.

Do you know who you are talking to...?

2010-03-29T23:36:00.001-07:00

When you meet people at business affairs or networking events, do you know who you are really talking to? What people say is not necessarily a reflection of who they most truly are. This happens to me repeatedly: someone will say they are interested in career coaching, but that is not what is really up for them-- it is a much bigger conversation about their life and what matters to them that they really want. People have amazing backgrounds that you might never suspect. Most people have been through a lot. They don't wear their scars or their medals on their faces, but just assume those are there! I am finding these days that people are mostly very interesting heroes in their own lives. This definitely includes young people. It's kind of cool to know that this person in front of you, whom you don't really know yet, may be so much more than what your judging-stereotyping mind may think (and we all do that, it is pretty automatic).

Success vs. Fulfillment?

2010-03-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

I just heard a teleseminar by Nina East, Founder of Personal Growth Princess, talking about personal growth in relation to being a business person. This was part of Adela Rubio's excellent week long teleseminar series
www. consciousbusinesstelesummit.com. She brought up the point that success is not necessarily the same as fulfillment. Point well taken, I thought. I had just experienced what could be looked on as the failure of a planned event, which was nevertheless very fulfilling for me: I was to talk to students at the University of Nevada at a late-night Student Union Starbucks program about coaching and managing stress, but nobody showed up for this first time. However, one Starbucks staff person really wanted to learn meditation from me, as she knew that was part of what I was going to talk about. When she got off her shift, she came over to my table. She was a lovely young woman, and so eager to learn. I gladly shared a couple of meditation methods with her and I know she will use them. I went home feeling very fulfilled, instead of bummed out because of the no-shows, the reasons for it, etc.

Have you thought about that difference between success and fulfillment in your life? Could be illuminating. Thank you, Nina.

By the way, Adela Rubio gives great value with her one week teleseminar series, with a fabulous lineup of guest speakers. I always sign up, even if I only listen to a couple of them. Check her out at www.adelarubio.com.